This blog was written by Product Marketing Manager, Microsoft Teams, Christina Gonsalves as part of the Amplifying Black Voices blog series. Christina shares her experience of navigating her first year at Microsoft as a Black woman, during a global pandemic and social uprising.
My first year at Microsoft was a complete struggle.
Despite having just completed two years of business school and growing my confidence there, I was suffering from an intense imposter syndrome, was lost in trying to figure out where I fit in in this huge company, and with how to get things done across what we know can be a very complicated ecosystem of stakeholders.
When I was in the office, it was easy to see I wasn’t alone. The mirror in the women’s bathroom in Building 3 was absolutely covered in post-it notes with words of encouragement: words like “You deserve to be here”, “You’re killing it!”, "You got this!" and:
Once we were hurled into the confusion of the pandemic, it started to feel like I was more alone. Black lives were being violently taken and needed to be enthusiastically protected, I lived across the country from my closest loved ones, and while I was blessed to be on a team with three (!!) Black women, when I looked across the company and even across my broader org, I just wasn’t finding the representation that I wanted to see.
During the summer months of 2020, I worked during the day and marched at night. I cried in between meetings, I looked for solace in ERGs (shoutout to Blacklight for holding meetings daily throughout the worst of times!), and I somehow felt my voice continue to slip. I felt empowered and heard in Capitol Hill, but when I was in meetings, I felt shaky and unsure, and like I wasn’t providing value.
Everything changed after I decided to take some time off of work. I moved back to New Jersey to quarantine with my family, and I spent time re-establishing strict self-care routines that included daily meditation, diving deeper into my spirituality (I practice Buddhism ), long walks with my dog, and sharing meals with loved ones.
Now that I am in my second year – I finally feel like I know what I’m doing! I can ask the right questions in meetings, spin up decks that create clarity, drive strategy forward, and effectively communicate with stakeholders of all types of backgrounds. I have also learned that taking care of myself is always more important than the work - as Michelle Obama said, “We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own to-do list”.
To anyone currently struggling with finding their voice, I have the following advice:
I’m so excited to continue this journey and see what personal revolutions I have in the next set of years. Until next time!
✌🏾
Christina
You must be a registered user to add a comment. If you've already registered, sign in. Otherwise, register and sign in.